Quote:
Originally Posted by Readytostop
I find I even do that with my T. Its like I've never let therapy be about me. I've always had to think how will he respond to this or what does he think. If he even remotely told me what he thinks about something before hand than I won't go against it... even if on first hearing I think its totally a wrong interpretation... And If I find that T. rewards certain behavior like keeping things light and using humor...with smiles and lots of personal discussion...then that is how I will behave....
Only thing is that I don't ever get to the hard stuff. My perception is that my T. doesn't want to hear it, doesn't know what to do with it and doesn't care if I share it... because what i see from him...is silence, distance and coolness when i tried...
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THIS is such an important thing. This is where the therapy relationship can be SO helpful and SO healing. Sometimes I see myself in patterns of behavior with T and it helps me realize that those behaviors are affecting my real life relationships...and if I can work through them with T, it helps so much outside of the therapy room.
Have you told this T the things that you would tell a new T? The list at the end of your post of what you need in a therapist? I wonder how he would respond?
And to answer your question...yes, I'm super co-dependent and a people pleaser. I'm trying SO HARD to unlearn that - to find out who I am and to be that person. It's not easy, is it?
