I had my T session today....and I shared with him a conversation I had with a friend of mine yesterday. My friend and I made a commitment to go to the gym this year, and I am proud to say that I have gone 25 out of the last 28 days. We are both overweight, and she said that she sometimes stands butt naked and checks out her body....and makes affirmations, critiques herself and decides on what needs work, etc.
I immediately cringed and told her that I avoid looking in the mirror at all costs. I also told her that I wonder, sometimes, how people can even want to be friends with me....(because I find myself so repulsive).
T said that I have a distorted view of myself and that it's inaccurate...and that those who have experienced trauma have a tendency to take it out on their bodies...and that sometimes we take feelings from the inside and somehow apply it to our physical selves.
I asked T how to figure out where this stems from...and he said to try to pay attention to those feelings when they come up...and be open to allowing myself to sit with those feelings and allow my mind to create images....which will lead me closer to understanding where they came from.
I can't imagine that I am alone in feeling this way....so I'm wondering if anyone else can relate to this....and if they've ever overcome it...and how...