I can really relate to this. I'm always surprised when I see myself, because I don't look how I *think* I look. My husband constantly teases me about my distorted view of myself...but the thing is, I actually DON'T know how to fix it.

Like, for example, my whole life I thought I had big lips, and I always tried to cover up my mouth. I said something to a friend in college about it and he was like "what? your lips are actually weirdly thin". And I asked my H about it, and he said the same thing.

And it makes me wonder...how can I fit the distorted view I have of myself if I don't' even know what I'm distorting?

It's confusing.

But wow - what awesome work you are doing going to the gym! I do find that when I can get in touch with my physical self - by running hard, or climbing a mountain or lifting weights - it does help me get grounded and feel better about myself, at least a little.
to you