Quote:
Originally Posted by Squiggle328
I am glad that you responded. I came back in here to delete this post. I felt that maybe you guys would think I was lying to my therapist. I wasn't lying, I just wasn't telling her every detail of what happened that night. I wish I could read between the lines of the email she sent back to me. I always tend to read some negative message in them. I can't tell if she is bothered by this or not.
Can you imagine how embarrassed I am going to feel when I have my session on Wednesday? I hate it when I feel so inferior to her. I feel like a little kid going to the Principal's Office. I don't want her to have this much power over me, but she does. I give her that power. It's my fault that this happens.
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It's NOT your fault this happens. I don't know about anyone else, but "lying" never crossed my mind when I read your posts. But I can completely understand how awful you're going to feel having to face her on Wednesday. Yes, you're going to want to crawl into a hole, but you won't - YOU'LL GET THROUGH IT JUST LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO. Some how, some way, you'll get through it. Ask for pocket riders, we'll go with you!
Even if she IS bothered or irked by ANY part of your email, then that is HER issue, right? Trust her that she will bring up whatever needs clarification with you if she feels she needs to; you are not a camelion who needs to adapt to her surroundings for her appeasement, or ANYONE'S appeasement. Trust her that she will not hold it over your head and make you feel worse. Trust that she will, in all likelihood, want to talk YOU through it to see how this affects YOU. My T has taught me that even if there is conflict, (and I don't personally see any here with your T) that life goes on. You have conflict, it gets resolved, we move on. No reason to continually beat yourself up over it, I mean, unless it's obviously a huge conflict that really has negative impacts on someone or all involved (like lurking in the bushes with high-tech gear
).
Hang in there Squiggle.