I am glad you came back and spilled all your feelings out.

My son is not much younger than you. We just moved him into sober housing today. He too is fed up with how he has lived his life so far - drugs, alcohol, legal problems, etc. He looks at this change as a good step forward. Not an easy step - but truth is, life for anyone isn't easy.

Please, don't let religious beliefs get in your way. My son would tell you himself - this isn't about religion, it is about learning to believe that there is something out there that is greater than you - something you can believe in - and it doesn't have to be a "god" as most religions would define it.

As I see it from what you wrote, you are at a fork in the road. You can either choose path A or path B.

I wish you the very best. I think you have the strength to choose the path that will bring you back to a sane and happy life.