Alright, I'm going to just be really honest. I don't think disability is a good idea. Maybe it's just because of the people I know, but I think it's worth trying to keep with it.

I've been on sick leave for the last few months, and had to drop down to a part time student, and even though I definitely needed it, it's been hell. Not having anything to do in the day can drive you even crazier. It's made me feel more worthless than I did before I was medicated!

I know it's really hard, but that's what makes it worth it. How much it sucks can be the best motivator sometimes, because at least it gets you out the door. If you do decide to go on disability, make sure you have things lined up that you can do - a volunteer position, and a lot of arts and music. And set it up like a job.

And try and get off it! Try and find something to do. I know my career is going to be penniless (My life goal is to be a story teller... it's a mix of theatre, history, and writing without the intent to publish), but it's something I love and it's something I'm willing to fight for. Even if your joe-job is soul-sucking, keep it up and try and find a way of doing what you love and make that a career.

It's possible to find jobs that are flexible to bp. I have bp2, and I rapid cycle like no one's business (as much as 7 or 8 noticeable mood shifts a day without meds) and I'm not playing the 'I'm crazier card' because I don't think I am, but I do know that in the arts, that can be used.

I guess what I'm saying is that you sound like you're looking at disability as a way of not dealing with work... and I don't agree. I know that's not going to make me too popular, but I think the fight is worth it. Or at least find something you're willing to seriously fight for if you do.