Quiet: while in these days of quiet desperation, look for a song or poem that expresses how you feel. Memorize it and replay it in your mind, especially when something triggering happens.

The day after I lost my virginity, I had my picture taken on Santa's lap in a mall, Christmas shopping. Not until I was an adult did I ever have sex with someone who loved me. So one song I kept in my mind as a teen was "I want you; I need you; but there ain't no ... " You know maybe Meatloaf? "Two Out of Three Ain't Bad" was the name of the song. It was pretty sad, a young teenager having sex to fill the loneliness with people who had no love for me but were happy to use me. So with that song, I could believe that being "wanted" or "needed" even without being "loved"---that was better than nothing to me. Still is. I don't regret it. But of course your situation with Valentine's was different. I am in NO WAY comparing the sexual aspect. I just used a bad example to explain how you can try to find words. Words. A song or a poem to keep in your mind. Words that help you see what you DO have. I also like words that help me see what great lengths I went to to get help and love and to love other people. Even if you don't find what you want, the journey of trying to find it is SO valuable. Like "What I Did for Love" from A Chorus Line? Well, if you don't know, promise me you'll google these things. shipping