Anneli Rufus says those who hate themselves "... walk around half-savaged all the time."
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/...-being-scolded
What can we do about it:
How then can we respond responsibly to criticism? First, by stepping back. Observe the situation as would a neutral observer. To what degree is the criticism accurate? This is the hard part. It might take a lifetime to achieve just this: Discern to what degree your critic is correct, and to what degree he or she means harm. Inasmuch as your critic is correct, resist the urge to lump this criticism in with all the other criticisms you have ever received in your life, from others and especially yourself. Resist the thought that this lone rebuke reveals or proves anything conclusive about you. Breathe. Resist the urge to fall on your sword.
Inasmuch as your critic is correct -- this time and only this -- is it too late to right your wrong? To what degree can you play reasonable catchup? Breathe. Apologize, but briefly and sincerely -- not as if you're begging for your life. If time permits repairs, then do your best. This is the meaning of humility, that healing space between screaming and sulking and seppuku. Do your best, then move on, facing straight ahead.
I often get criticized. Too, I am told it is not what I try to get across that is the problem. It is how i say it. Unwarranted criticism is toxic.