Quote:
Originally Posted by Readytostop
I find I even do that with my T. Its like I've never let therapy be about me. I've always had to think how will he respond to this or what does he think. If he even remotely told me what he thinks about something before hand than I won't go against it... even if on first hearing I think its totally a wrong interpretation... And If I find that T. rewards certain behavior like keeping things light and using humor...with smiles and lots of personal discussion...then that is how I will behave....
Only thing is that I don't ever get to the hard stuff. My perception is that my T. doesn't want to hear it, doesn't know what to do with it and doesn't care if I share it... because what i see from him...is silence, distance and coolness when i tried...
I hate that I can't make things be only about me. I'm so codependent. If i go to another T. I will know to say... I need someone who is going to call me on my stuff... who's not going to let me "dump and run"...i need someone who is going to model sharing deep issues and hard emotions and who is going to encourage me and give positive praise for that... at least if I can't change the mirror reflective behaviour I can use it to my advantage in therapy...
Does anyone else have the whole mirror/reflective behaviour issue and what were you able to do to get past it?
|
This is all so important to tell your T. If you haven't told your T, then it is not making use of therapy to solve your problems, and I wonder why, because you truly do sound motivated to change. You want to terminate now. If you tell him these things, what is the worst that can happen? He will respond poorly? And then you can still terminate. But perhaps getting all of these thoughts out on the table will help your therapy relationship be stronger and will help you start to break out of this pattern you have recognized in yourself. I am not sure going to a new T is going to help any more than working on these important issues with your current T would. Maybe it would... But have you given the current therapy a chance by telling T all the stuff you wrote above? I think this guy should hear that you think his using humor is a way to avoid going deep with you. And the rest.