(((peaches)))

I can relate. My mom shares many of the same characteristics. I've had to pull away from her because I'm so confused and distressed whenever she's around.

Whenever I brought up traumatic events that occurred in my childhood, my mom called it "mental masturbation" which I found to be infuriating and shameful. Or she minimizes my experiences more by comparing them to her experience with her father (who was abusive physically, verbally and emotionally towards everyone!). She always "one up's" my experiences. I can't STAND that ~ it drives me insane!!

Anyway.... I really don't think that you're blowing things out of proportion. I think that your mom has a real tough time with admitting mistakes that she made while you were growing up. Her refusing to acknowledge your negative experiences, in her mind, means she was a good mom. {She probably had parents that looked the other way as she grew and then repeated the pattern with you and your sister.} Very sad

I'm sorry that your mom hasn't been there for you. It's hard to both acknowledge and accept that reality.

I can say that I'm now an adult and have 2 young children of my own. I have always been determined to not let the patterns repeat themselves. I do go out of my way to apologize and admit my wrongs to my girls. I don't want them to feel the same way that I feel towards my mom. Having grown up in a very dysfunctional family, it can be real tough for me to judge what is/isn't appropriate & treat them younger than they are probably longer than I should.

Gentle hugs sent your way!