This statement greatly bothers me. The whole point of therapy is to work on the hard issues!

My husband, while not a people pleaser, has the same ability to mimic the personalities of others. He calls it being a "social chameleon" and helps him get along with others very well. However, he has a very well defined sense of self.

I have the same ability, but I use it to please people. I have very little sense of self. I realize people of influence in my childhood didn't allow me to have a sense of self. My parents didn't reward individuality, my parochial school definitely did not promote a sense of individuality, my church did not look favorably upon individuality...so I learned to have several to please others. The only people in my life who have allowed me to be the "only me I know" is my H, my maternal grandparents, a couple of friends, and the 3 T's I've seen.

The conclusion I am coming to in my therapy process is that I have to process, mourn, and let go of the past. Through that process, I will develop a truer, separate sense of self.