Quote:
Originally Posted by Anika
When I am manic I too, buy things that I would not regularly buy. Last time, a few months back I bought two big screen tv's. I'm the type of person who would keep my small old school tv until all the colour tubes went on it before thinking of buying another. Luckily I was able to return one of them. Usually tho it's just normal things that I want like clothes and things for my house. Tho I have a "collecting" problem, I have so many collections I don't know what to do with.
The real problem is that I am on disability so I have a pretty limited budget already. I only use cash, no debit, or credit cards. So if I am manic and am on a mad spending frenzy I can do some serious damage in a short amount of time. My only saving grace is that I'm addicted to thrift stores and those items take longer to add up.
I don't usually realize until after the storm, sometimes I try to question myself during and sometimes it works, but if I am too manic, I have no insight.
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You've said some things that I would say if speaking for myself. I can really relate. Me? I do a lot of returning because I can't check in at the moment - it is impossible, truly impossible. I cannot calm the feeling of being so driven and the feeling that these "things" are somehow going to offer some fulfillment. It is painful to have such a lack of control. I too am addicted to thrift stores, rummage sales and the like. Also can be pulled into things on-line, but, sometimes I can practice walking away, knowing that it is still there in the computer for me to come back to. It's the only time I check in or test myself. If I am there with the wanted item it's a "go", even if it means not knowing how I will get through the month till my next disability check. Anyway, I admire that you are at times able to question yourself and it works. Even if it happens only on occasion, it's a good sign, a really good sign.