((((johnny))))),

It sounds like you have more than just this ex bothering you. I know this might sound tright but, I think that you may benefit by finding a good therapist that you can work on some things that you may not be recoginizing on your own. I work with a therapist myself and he has been such a help to me. Though I have had my struggles with him, he has been so helpful in working with me to see some of my issues and why these issues are there.

As you have admitted here, you have been trying but you can't seem to get out of this rut. That is because your just not seeing HOW to help yourself. So when that happens anyone who struggles like your struggling has to find someone else to help them see what they can't seem to see.

It is like anything else you could not fix on your own you would hire someone to fix it for you or teach you how to fix it. Whether it is a leaky pipe, a broken furnace or a vehicle that wont run right, there are people who can help you fix these things. Well therapists are there to help you with your own issues as well.

" How do I get over that? I'm not trying to argue, but I'm just trying to get a grip on things. Nothing seems to help." quote johnnyHopeless

The above statement is exactly what I am talking about in this post to you my friend.
It was pretty much my own opening statement when I first sat down with my therapist.

((((Hugs))))
Open Eyes