Really stuggling right now. Had major life event a few days ago. It was supposed to be a positive thing, but all change is stressful and this certainly was. In addition, I am now regretting the life change, feeling as though I was duped and victimized once again.



I hate being in this position. it is especially difficult because I really believed those other people who told me to they would be there to help me every step of the way. I needed their help and counted on it to do this major change. Now that the decision is irreversible, they back out on their promises and leave me with several extremely difficult situations. In addition, the long term does not look promising either. Gloom despair and agony on me.

They lie and I suffer. Why does this always happen to me? Why am I a magnet for people who lack integrity? Why doesn't my suffering matter?

I hate my life. I hate life. I hate society. I am so tired of living. I want out, but I know I can not suicide, because I have tried before and failed. So I am stuck. Stuck here in this f'ed up planet living out my life doing my best to protect myself from other people and trying not to hurt anyone else.

I hate it here. I hate my life. When will it end??? I hate it here.