I'm so messed up right now.
I need to sort my life out, i'm letting the control of it go.
I did stupid things yesterday, ended up in hospital, ran away from hospital, if a friend and a housemate hadnt have stepped in would have possibly been sectioned.
walked out of my workplace causing EVERYONE hassle.
Now today i decide to start seeing things clearly, but i still dont know how to FIX things, i need to get better but i dont know where to start with that.

I cant keep doing this over and over again.

I WANT TO BE NORMAL! and by that i dont mean be perceived by other people as normal or be a textbook version of normal, i just want to feel normal, like for myself i am ok and i am balanced.