The only thing that stops me is my friends and family. I could not do that to them. When I was at breaking point last year I had two options. Kill myself or finally admit to my family that I have depression and need help. I am only 18 now and I was hospitalized and missed out on quite a bit of high school. Its not about what stopped me, its about what stops me and will continue to. I am unhappy being alive and everyone around me listens when I say that but they don't really understand. I finally had a conversation with my mom about it. I said "what you want is for me to be happy right? Then why would you hold me back from the one thing that will make me happy?" I have lived my entire life doing what I can for others. There is no doubt that I care about others more than myself. Which is why although I am unhappy and do not want to make an effort and would just like to peacefully and quietly leave this world... I won't because what my family and friends want is more important that what i want.