Okay so, I've posted some topics and here and there like a few to couple months ago, asking Schizophrenia questions, because I'm a diagnosed Paranoid Schizophrenic... Didn't care about the disorder or believe I was schizophrenic. The only reason why it interested me, because I was trying to get SSI and I wanted to understand my disorder to help my case... I think digging it up and trying to understand it just made it worse for me, especially after being rejected for disability because not being "severe" enough, apparently. But now that I pay attention, I realize that I do frequently hear voices, get paranoid, visually hallucinate sometimes, and whatever other things schizophrenics do. After being rejected by disabilities, I wanted to prove to myself if I was really schizophrenic or not, because part of me would believe it, the other part wouldn't. So I dug up the old anti-psychotic medication that was prescribed to me 3-4 years ago. Was a bit scared to take it, because I heard bad things about side effects, but I just needed to. Was tired of hearing voices for one... So I started taking Risperidone, which was prescribed to me, standard 0.5 mg dosage, and I noticed a difference completely...

I felt like I could definitely concentrate better... Pre-med I would spend most of my day doing nothing, trying to figure out what to do, because for some reason I was always felt tired and exhausted, so hard to concentrate on anything, felt like everything was "work" and most things didn't interest me at all. But on-med, I had lots of more patience, I could actually force myself into getting something done. Something that I normally couldn't focus on for more than 30 minutes, could take my whole day up. I didn't feel that agitated by things anymore. I felt like I could socialize with people better. Collect my thoughts better. I felt more energized throughout the day, but also more tired... in a way. Like I was frequently yawning, and my body felt tired, but I still felt energized. I could still slightly hear voices sometimes, but my mind didn't even want to pay attention to them, so it wasn't bothersome at all. Didn't eat as much; felt hungry, normally, but felt like I could still function without eating, while pre-med I felt like I had to eat a lot or else I couldn't function. Overall I felt better as a person... The only things I didn't like about being on meds, was (may be grossly intaked)couldn't masturbate, couldn't run or lift weights, or excersize at all really. I thought sleeping was already bad for me (like random bursts of energy, paranoia, racing thoughts..etc..), but on-med sleeping was worse. Was even harder to go to sleep, because my mind felt energized at all times, even if my body didn't. I would sleep for longer periods usually, and my alarm couldn't even wake me up at all. If I were to awake during sleep, it was pretty hard to go back to sleep. Only good part about it, instead of waking up tired, drowsy, not wanting to get out of bed, I felt energized and would pop right up as if I was a morning person.
I wouldn't feel paranoid, but I would still get paranoid thoughts sometimes, like I would think about "what if something were to harm me" but it were kind of 'whatever' kind of thoughts, because my mind didn't really focus on it like it'd usually do...

Post-med... I've only had enough for a couple of weeks, and refills are out of date(I think), so... But what I feel post-med, I don't feel as bad as I did pre-med, daily, but the other day I was hearing voices, and I remember waking up this morning, laying in bed, staring at my computer chair, thinking and feeling like this chair would magically come alive and attack me, or something would make it attack me. At that same time I was thinking to myself, "Why am I thinking this? It's just a chair... Is this a delusion?" ...