It's been 7 years since I was dx for the second with Bipolar. I have done therapy, done the meds, and all that. But I still find myself not wanting to accept. Not like in a day to day kinda way. When I picture things I want for my future, it's just never part of the picture, then it hits me. "oh yeah, forgot about that part". I know lots of people here who have Bipolar who are accomplishing big things, and I think that's awesome!!!!!
The things I dream about for myself seem so far out of reach. It isn't just the Bipolar that got me here, my crummy abusive marriage, having to start over with three kids and nothing to our name. It's all compounded. But I feel really really really stuck! I dream of running my own inn, it's what I went to college for before being dx. I dream of being happy and surrounded by good friends, and people who strive to be good to each other ( in real life ). I have all these dreams of what I want my life to look like, and I seriously do not know how to get there.
Real life, I have a very small support system, not really much functional family, and no friends. I'm a stay at home mom on disability even tho my kids are nearing teens. I'm 33 years old and have no money in savings or credit. In 7 years of treatment I have had a few months here and there of being stable, and the illness has progressed. Is it being unrealistic of me to still hold onto these dreams? How do you approach this in your own lives?