No, not horrible at all....but I can understand the feelings of shame and disgust that come from admitting such difficult and painful things.

Know that you are not alone.

It is such a painful thing to endure that I find that I run from those feelings when they come up. T is encouraging me to allow myself to feel those things and see where it takes me.

I am realizing how much of a risk that is....but I want to feel differently about myself. There are so many people in this world that are comfortable with their bodies, even if they have imperfections, even if they're overweight or even obese. They love themselves and don't hide their bodies....Why can't that be me?

*sigh*

I run and hide in shame and fear and disgust. I want to do things differently. I want to get better.

But it's so hard.....

I'm going to try.