I started homeschooling when I was in 5th grade. The reasons being completely unrelated to this. I actually did really well in school, graduated when I was 15 and am now taking college classes online.

AND, I disagree with you about that being the 'worst thing they could do' for me. Seeing as how I can't leave the house, I can't even walk my dog... someone needs to be here incase of emergency. I'm freaked out enough that they're not going to be here. Them giving into me wanting one of them to stay behind would be the worst thing they could do.

Valium and Zoloft.

I havn't read that book, but I actually just bought a new one, Panic and Anxiety Workbook... or something. It's pretty neat... now if only I could convince myself of everything it says.

As for the, 'you can't FORCE yourself to panic' thing. I disagree with that as well. I feel like i'm so used to just being a wreck -all- the time, that when I feel relaxed, I feel 'out of it' or not like myself. Which causes me to analyze everything to death, and panic.

I just recently stopped seeing my therapist, because talking to my wall was just as helpful and a lot cheaper.