So we have all heard the question to be or not to be... well here's my twist on it... TO talk to people or to not talk to people..... That is the question.....

I keep getting lectures from a lot of people about how this depression isn't my fault, and they blame it on the ultimate evil one, the devil.... I say otherwise.... What I say is, this is life, these illnesses happen, it's a chemical problem, but I keep getting told I"m wrong.... and by now, I hate being told this....

So the question is, do I actually talk when things go amiss, and the depressed thougths come....????? I started to talk when things are going wrong but, now, why should I? If I get lectured about the devil everytime, and she tells me that I can have that power out of my life... well guess what I've already tried that one... about 2 years ago... MDD is my trial, and it was given to me, because I can handle it, and I can help others to know more about it by becoming knowledgeable... But I feel as if I can't say that to her, that it just goes in one ear, and out the other... I'm just so tired of having to fight the thoughts, fight the depression so much that I can't live as well as I would like... I'm so alone in this, I can't turn to my family anymore, I have a friend I can talk to, but he doesn't talk back... I just dont' know what to do....

My docotr thinks that it would be good for me to go back to the hospital, but I can't do that, it would make things worse with my family, since I can't have my cell phone... I just don't know weither to talk to my family or not.... and that's the quesiton I ask... do I talk to those I love, and get lectures from them, or do I just handle things on my own.... that is the question?