On a related note, in therapy, if the T were to respond to a client's expression of feelings with a statement that minimizes the feeling or tries to "correct" the feeling, it would be considered an empathic failure and would be invalidating.

boy, gg, you got it going on tonight, girl!!!

it works that way among friends also. and you don't even have to make an appointment with them to get those statements. invalidating the way i feel is a ----poor way to make a connection with me. it only causes me to retreat, as i would from a T, and it causes me to be a bit more careful with my friendship.

just because i feel one way and you feel another, that doesn't make me wrong. and it doesn't make you wrong. but....... it is definitely starting to feel like being nibbled to death by ducks.

thanks to one and all. i'm amazed at how many have spoken out about THEIR feelings the past few days. i've had some incredulous PMs. (you know who you are.)

xoxoxo ethel/pat/fayerody/pattyfairlynormal