i just read the question...and i dont judge you for asking. i think its a very good question, especially if youre debating it. ive been on both sides, when i was 14yrs old i had a major suicide attempt which put me in a coma for 3 days and in the hospital for 3mo. i totally understand the feeling when you have it. you feel like you dont matter, like your pain is too much to handle and you feel like its never going to go away. you feel so desperate for answers and for help. trust me i know how it feels. i was suicidal for a long time, until one day my brother succeeded. i cant express how painful it was for me to deal with his death. we came from a very disfunctional family. we all had a lot of issues. i feel so sad for my brother, i loved him and cared for him. i was so sad that he left and even more so that he did it so violently. when my brother did that i learned not to do that. i learned that no matter how bad things are, suicide should not be an answer. call someone, an anonymous hotline, a friend, a T...but get help. whatever you are feeling is temporary and with help you can learn to cope and deal with things. no matter how bad you think your life is, that is temporary...death is not. i know you have people who love you, i know its hard to think about others when youre in so much pain. but please get help because having a loved one commit suicide is the worst life event that one can experience. i just wanted to let you know, if you need to talk im am here and willing to listen.