Harley, thanks for the reply and I apologize for the double post. That happened because I am new and did not know if my first one had been accepted. Communication with my wife on issues like this is impossible. A long time ago, we went through counselling mostly because of other issues. Ultimately, she rejected the therapist's input. We have so much psycho-baggage from 49 years together that any serious discussion degenerates into anger and name calling. She still looks good and you would think she is no older than 40 if you saw her picture. I would be happy having sex with her if she were not so inhibited. If we could do oral, role-play, be spontaneous, etc. I could be satisfied. A less-inhibited woman would do things that would help me with orgasms despite my ED. I know I can still please a woman orally and digitally. But, she is very religious and IMHO that gets in the way for her, although I believe sex is a gift from God and religion should not impede marital sex. She has never been able to be spontaneous; sex always had to be orchestrated (lights had to be dimmed, music had to be played, only at certain times when scheduled, etc.) which was ridiculous and made my ED worse. She knows nothing about my bisexual nature or pre-marital experiences. BTW, my fantasies are not just superficial fantasies. I truly know that I am a latent bisexual.