ButterCup you inspire me!!

Scary Doctor appointment last week; I am only on Lets see, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, today is the 16 -- so how would you count that the 5th full day right?.... struggles but it is ok...

As i mentioned in my one post- I am adapting the attitude with cigarettes as I have with any hard drug or getting high-- i may want to, yearn for it at times, really really feel it would be the solution-- but remember the out come, the bad, and that it is the cause of chaos (problems)..... and they could create my fear of things (having to be on oxygen not to far from now if I continue- or on oxygen at all when much older, cancer or what not- though I do realize even by quitting i could still have these fears, but by quitting it reduce the probability of the fears)... I know life is not math but gotta think about it some way for me

Tired of being sick- that is a big thing- want to be able to walk briskly with out being winded! tired of being sick! tired of not breathing right... coughing so much, hurting around my lung.

So in ways-- this is all good

I did forget-- I had an oral fixation before cigs... I need to get a handle on that-- I think i am gaining weight crazy just so soon

BE Well All!!