I've seen my new T twice now. He's the most promising T I've seen in years. I have high hopes for our relationship, so I don't want to mess anything up by coming off like a b!tch (which I know I can do sometimes)!

The pros so far:

He seems to get me. He understands how dysfunctional and damaging my family was. He didn't minimize that, or reject my interpretation of it, as other Ts have done.

He said he admired my courage and strength. He said it was amazing that I'm doing as well as I am, given what I went through in my family. And I got the feeling he meant it - and wasn't just feeding me something in order to build me up.

He makes notes occasionally, which makes me feel like what I'm telling him is important.

Okay, the cons, and I'd like your input on this:

He's a bit fixy. He's insisting that I bring up a certain subject with my husband that I'm not ready to talk about. He phrases things in directives, like, "You need to tell him that..." I don't like being given instructions right out of the gate. At two sessions in, he has some grasp of my situation - but he doesn't know me well enough to know what's good for me just yet.

He coughs a lot. Like, a lot. I'm finding it very distracting, especially when he does it as I'm talking. Neither of us can hear what I'm saying when he's coughing over my voice. I want to reach over and strangle him when he does that, but so far I haven't

He asked me to download a 40-question form from his website and fill it out. Last session, as we were talking, I realized he didn't know some basic facts about me that I had explained on paper. So I asked him if he'd read my responses to his questionnaire, and he said, "No, I haven't." Wrong answer, dude!

He finishes my sentences. It's funny, because he ALWAYS gets it wrong.

He mirrors me physically, which drives me nuts. I'm going to ask him to stop doing it because I find it very distracting and therapisty.

He talks a lot about his great boundaries that he has. "I have really good boundaries!" I mean the guy is innocent until proven guilty. But why would he think this is an issue of mine? I told him about my former Evil T a bit, but didn't place especial emphasis on the guy's not having had great boundaries.

He still feels a need to establish himself. He mentioned the fact that he supervises other therapists, and I got the distinct impression that he expected me to go, "Oh wow," internally.

Am I being too hard on the guy? It's early days yet. He's the best thing I've seen in a long time, so I don't want to jinx this by charging out of the gate with a ton of criticisms for him.

One other positive - he didn't hug me this time. We had been talking about my pervy father, who didn't exactly abuse me, but he had some weird sexual issues around me and did and said plenty of inappropriate things. So I thought he demonstrated some sensitivity by not reaching for the hug as I was leaving. He did pat me on the shoulder though.

What's your gut feeling about this guy so far? I'd be interested...