Quote:
Originally Posted by kitten16
pbutton, tell me more about why the emotional validation/ego stroking/praise thing is suspect for you.
I mean it made me feel a bit manipulated, but I was enjoying it so much! Like I was getting a vaccination shot, but the nurse gave me a teddy bear and a sugar cookie at the same time, so I didn't care  |
It's probably perfectly fine, but such a big trigger specifically for me. I do NOT want any type of praise from T. Any type of pride or admiration from an older male or authority figure and I go batshit. I do not do anything that I do to make him pleased or proud of me. Everything I do, I am doing for ME. I get so super grossed out. It's got to be some kind of CSA remnant, but I can't quite fit this puzzle piece into place. I can't even explain how strongly I hate this. You'd have to have been there the day T told me he liked working with me... and I wanted to growl and rip out his throat with my teeth. I can't even type that it should have been fine because it feels THAT SUPER EXTRA MEGA NOT FINE to me.
So uh, yeah, to answer your question, totally my deal and my weird hangup. This is why I am not a good consultant on this one.
