Hi! I am glad you decided to share :-) I am not really sure what the regulations are here, either, but hope that you find what you are looking for.

I think that what you are describing can be completely normal for someone dealing with depression and/or anxiety. Most people describe it as "freezing." Maybe you can try to write down whatever thoughts are coming up for you at that point..they obviously are important enough that your mind wants you to pay attention only to them at that moment. Sometimes, once you give them their space, the thoughts/feelings will not be so strong anymore.

As far as the meds..I am not sure where you live, but in a lot of places, the age of consent for mental health treatment is 14 (or 16)..so you might be able to consent to the medications without parental consent. If you can't, however, or don't want to, there are also some natural things you could try..St. Johns Wort or 5-HTP maybe, look into them and see what you think.

And, keep talking here..it will help :-)