I experienced something similar recently. Ok, I am afraid of my partner leaving me, but he just wanted to check out his best bud's new place, I had a really bad panic moment-I wanted him with ME, not HIS FRIEND. I think I'm right, but he doesn't. my feelings turned into impulsiveness and I tried to harm myself, then I backed off..and I got really mad at him for doing this to me. It's almost like I wasn't in my state of mind, is that how you kinda feel?

Thanks for the fear of abandonment article.. I read it.. My parents were never there for me, I believed I did not get love until I met my partner, I find myself too clingy.but I always tell myself I have boundaries I just cannot cross, I need the structure and control in my life, I tell myself I don't need to be totally dependent on him so I can be happy.. I know he loves me.. When I start to get mad, I tell myself "this isn't a big deal as I think it is...don't blow it up..dont mess it up again"