I sense a lot of pain and confusion in these posts and I send lots of hugs to everyone.

I too struggled with attachment/dependency issues. My T and I have just spent the last 8 sessions clarifying our relationship, and what we mean to each other within the boundaries of the therapist/client relationship. I actually told him I loved him, as one human being to another who has saved my life countless times - he didn't even blink, or act as if it was inappropriate. In another session, he told me "I care about you" and "I respect you". The security of our relationship, knowing that he is there for me if I need him, has enabled me to move him out of a central role in my life, and into the periphery where he belongs.

I would have a real problem with a T who kept pushing to open up, then backed off when I did. I think that would really shut me down big time.