Oh, tigergirl, I'm so sorry to hear about losing your T. What a painful reminder to come across.

It sounds like you know the lies as lies now, which is different from how it once was. I sometimes wonder too whether I will ever get out from under the beliefs and messages that have shaped me over time. But I have more hope now than I did in the past. It's a slow process.

Reading your signature made me wonder what would constitute "stepping forward" with your current T.