I have been out of the hospital for almost 2 weeks and am struggling to follow my meal plan. I have this feeling deep down that I am going to end up in the hospital again, and if that is going to happen, I want it to happen now not later. I see my dietician tomorrow and am scared that I am going to get lectured for failing to stick to my meal plan. Today was the worst. I had some applesauce for breakfast and then had my snack at about 4 and then ate somewhat of my dinner. Thing is that I was struggling while in the hospital and they didn't want to discharge me, but had no choice with insurance. I am still on a refeeding plan, thus is why I want to go back now. The downside is that I need to be working, I haven't been with the company long enough to qualify for FMLA so I am on leave without pay. I am just so confused and not knowing what to do. I don't even know if I want to keep ED or not at this moment.