I wish! We talked about trying to work out a twice-a-week every OTHER week thing... which is still a possibility if I can make it work financially. If I could I'd see her everyday.


Dear T,

I sometimes feel like an idiot for revealing so much to you. We've only been working together for barely 4 months. I started revealing stuff right away to you... lots and lots of stuff. You seemed surprised I was so quick to trust you. At the time though, I was so desperate for ANYONE to listen to me and take me seriously. When I came to you and you listened... really listened, and seemed as if you really wanted to help me, I latched onto that as quickly as I could. I sometimes feel like a traitor for revealing so much to you after leaving my old T, who I knew, loved, and trusted for 12 years. I left her because I had to (moved away), but I still feel guilty about it. What would old T think if she knew I was so quick to open up to you? I still occasionally email with old T, and she asked about you... I was scared to let her know how much I like you. I just said "she's okay."

I have trouble letting people know how I really feel about them. I often wonder if you and old T have any idea how much you guys mean to me. Maybe it is obvious from my nightly novel-length emails, although sometimes that just seems like me being a selfish attention-seeker. Do you know how much I think about you everyday? How much I want to know what you are like in your own personal life? How I get jealous of your other clients and even your family? It is so hard for me to let you know these things... so when I do, it's usually in an email, and I'm sure it comes out awkwardly. "I find you inspiring." ugh seriously? I really said that. It sounds so dumb. Were you laughing as you read it?