So sorry you're in a bad way and please don't end your life, due to bad circumstances or any other reason. Take it one step at a time. First - take any job even if its out of your field and encourage you brothers to do the same. Next - you admit you're a shopaholic therefore you need psychological counseling ...along with financial counseling to stop this unnecessary spending of money. You need to get to the root of why you spend recklessly. Can you apply for bankruptcy in your country??