Quote:
Originally Posted by needfixing
i wanted to add that i understand about the "physical" part of your marriage, the hugs, the little kisses, the holding of the hands, i get it, but you can do something too.
maybe when you come home from work give the kids their baths and put them to bed, while your wife cleans the kitchen or puts a load in the washer, and then come together just the two of you watching whatever it is on tv or drinking coffee or wine together and talk about each others day while your giving her a foot message.
do something where you can reconnect with your wife.
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yes, I have done all this. I am a very tactile and affectionate person, and offer her physical affection every day. But mostly it is not wanted - she sees being given a back massage as a chore. Sounds weird but true.
In reply to other points raised - I relate to the thought about accepting what I am feeling but not acting on it, and that is totally right, its emotional intelligence and maturity. My problem is that I cannot seem to understand the root cause and therefore rationalise it well enough to counteract the crush.
Basically - I have a crush, I dont want it, I dont need it, and I want it to stop - if I could take a pill and make it stop I would. I need some more help working out what the pill is please!!!!
THANKS to all who have responded so far - I appreciate you taking the time. Some of your comments are a little off the mark but thats to be expected as you dont know the detail or all the background - this is just an online chat and you can't be expected to hit the mark with every thought.
Are there any more folks out there who have experienced a major crush which they 'killed' with some internal tactics?????