This relationship is obviously doomed. We've been doing this dance since I was 16, and when we got together in 09 it was obvious we wanted different things, but wanted to give 'us' a chance. I don't even think compromising is optional.

So what if we love eachother? It's not enough! And WHAT is enough for me anyway? Do I want devotion? commitment? or some kind of hero worship? Nearly 28, and NO idea what constitutes a healthy relationship. I push him away, accuse him of horrible things. Instead of walking away or retaliating, he texts me, saying he wants to see me, he misses me

I don't get it, I'm sure I'm not what he wants, why doesn't he just leave?

And YTF can't I stay mad long enough to break it off? What's wrong with me? Why do I melt? Why's he so nice after I was so rude? We've taken breaks of up to a couple of months, due to my tantrums, but somehow those months apart never mean anything, we always find ourselves right back here.

Why didn't I tell him to go to hell? Why do we bother?

Guess I just wanted to rant, nobody irl really knows what's going on, and right now neither do I.