I swear I'm going to stop trying to pick it all apart, trying to read into things and anticipate rejection so I can reject you first. I think that's what it is. You're wonderful, really, I'm grateful for everything, and I know I'm being stupid... but I'm paranoid I'm going to lose you somehow. I'm just scared and unsettled, my mood is all over the place right now, and I'm trying to wrap my head around it all. Bear with me, please!