My guess is that Sally and Chopin are right and it's about following the anger to its source and not just dismissing it, judging it, or trying to stuff it back down. I just don't know how to do that. I tend more to do the -- okay, I'm angry, I'm an idiot (or *****, or whatever) for reacting this way, and I should just stop -- type thing. Not sure how to figure out WHY I'm angry about stupid little things.

I'll think more about what you suggested, Sally. I'm not sure that is it for me. I lost someone who adored me and who I adored, and my brother in law wanted to establish ahead of time that "the wives" would not be involved when it came to dividing property after my mother in law's death. So, anger at that is pretty straightforward. He's a prick and concerned only about their valuables and property and NEVER helps and NEVER gets involved, but once my mother in law is dead, he wants to be able to bully his brothers in letting him have the best stuff AND he's insinuating (in my head at least) that the only reason I was there all the time helping was because *I* am only interested in getting their stuff. So, that anger makes sense to me.

It's the stupid little things like overreacting to stupid things people say, or the little kids running into me and wanting me to move instead of walking around me, or people parking blocking the drive, or . . . Usually I'm pretty easy-going and non-judgmental about that stuff. At worst, I call the person a name in my head, smile at them and go on.