Wishing for understanding is normal. I don't think there's a hard and fast explanation yet, as has been stated.
Educating yourself regarding the subject would be helpful. Listening to your child and her friends will be helpful, too.
I can only imagine how tough it can be to keep up with "who is who"! Perhaps a list on the frig and ask your daughter's friends to help you with it. Asking them for help in a genuine way can offer much respect and love.
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notz
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