Sadly, my mental and emotional state continues to get worse. Yesterday, I met with someone in a clinic to evaluate if I should file for SSD.

Living on SSD benefits is not an easy life. I will be poor. But, I do not foresee anyone hiring me. I have had panic attacks / emotional outbursts at my last two jobs. Granted, there were circumstances. I was working for psychopaths who wanted me to quit; who purposely made the jobs impossible. But, I could not handle the harrassment. And, it not only led to my firings but also to PTSD, anxiety and depression issues. The harrassment also made it difficult to look for another job as it made me feel desperate and of low value. I worked harder and harder to hang on. Now, I do not know if anyone with hire me. So, I think I will have to file for SSD.

Perhaps, even worse, my emotional state continues to deteriorate. I now yell and scream at myself constantly every time something goes wrong. My apartment is a disaster. I manage to send out few resumes. I do some temp work as a concierge but no one will hire me for that type of work. And, my bad feet make it a poor career choice. I also suffer from epilepsy (petite mal), IBS and pre-diabetes that gave me a heart condition. Maybe it's best that I am on disability. (I am still on unemployment.) I guess it's the best choice - I am suffering terribly. Comments would be appreciated. Thanks.