Hi,
it sounds like you did the right thing for you, based on not only the sex but on the other problems you mentioned. However, I think (for me lately, at least) that him wanting sex "only" twice a week is not a super low number of times. The old average for married couples is once per week. Yes, as a younger person, and with some men, I had sex every day, or more than once, but that actually got old for me. There is more to life than sex. So what did the sex signify for you, I wonder (or more importantly, his desire to focus on work instead of having sex)?

My situation has been even more dismal than yours, and yet I can't let go of wanting the relationship. There's a connection there that gives me some grounding, an anchor. Or maybe we're just both desperate... We have been off and on for over 2 years, and only this week (after being "off" for the week before Valentine's Day, and him really feeling that loss) is he willing to talk about being in a 'real' relationship. as he said, about the next time we get together: "we're going to try and make this thing work, right?" I can't get at his intimacy problems - don't know what they are... but clearly I have them too, or I would have let go a lot sooner.

As for sex, he is a low libido person, but I have (kinda) adjusted to this. I sometimes initiate (and he sometimes responds to that), but I also truly cherish just the sleeping together, and caressing and holding each other. He's actually very good at that. Or he will initiate sex, and even if he isn't sexually aroused, sometimes we have non-intercourse sex. But, especially with the frequent times apart, we sleep together and have sex maybe once a week.. although sometimes it's several times in that one night..

And, there are other intimacy issues - he never buys me gifts for holidays or special occasions; rarely kisses me on the lips (tho this is getting better); cycles through affectionate and pushing away periods; has few people he considers friends, even though he knows a lot of people; has issues with his parents (but doesn't admit any abuse).

Maybe I'm settling for too little, but it sounded to me like you might have worked things out if you could have both communicated and compromised more. Or maybe not...