I understand I get trapped I the same cycle with my mom and friends. They want so much to see me eat and will find ways to cajole me into eating. Uts not that I completely abstain but I just prefer to not eat in public. I'm afraid people are judging me in some way shape or form and anyone who is part of "sneaking me into going out" is embarrassing me and making me uncomfortable. I feel like everyone is watching thing I'm bad or gross or something. Im sure like my doc says jts in my head but it just feels so teal. I don't even like eating around my boyfriend at home. I wait till he's sleeping before I have a soup or something. I just don't feel comfortable eating period let alone around people because I have had people I know make comments before and it makes me so aware of my body and how I feel.