i can't believe i feel like this or think like this. i don't know how i got this low. i don't have to deal with a lot of the things other people do - my kids are really pretty good, material essentials are in place, no siblings to argue with, no job so no evil boss or coworkers. I have pretty good physical health, as do my kids, despite a couple of chronic conditions (thankfully mild end of spectrum for us both). No addiction issues for me or my mother (never knew dear old dad).

How dare I be depressed? Especially after meds and therapy? How dare I be sitting here right now fighting off these urges and thoughts?

I think this is why that therapist was so annoyed with me. I don't have the right to my own diagnosis.