...there is a diabolical....awful feeling of dread that breaks my heart in an instant!

I am not nearly aware enough...merely an infant in the emotional world of intimacy.

...they are dangerous places....the interpersonal worlds I frequent.... they are also irresistable...and with an abundance of love to give, they are necessary!

How can I anticipate the triggers that circle me like predator birds... It's so freakin' un-natural for me to look up anyway!

...but they dive bomb me and ram their talons through my skull tearing apart my brain stem...ripping my heart out.

I am talkin' about that feeling....during a sudden trigger with a loved one...someone so special...someone so immensely special beyond words.

...where I feel that 'turn'....that sinister and hateful 'turn'....
and the fear that it's immediately all over...completely unsalvageable, considering whats gonna happen next...once I take that turn...once I am overwhelmed.
it brings me to tears just to write about it and I must take a deep breath.

I am sure everyone here knows what I am talking about.

it's a bpd thing