Thanks Snap, for complimenting my qualities. I really do want to be a good person in life that other people think is worthy of being on this planet. Even if I'm a little "off", that's fine if they see that as long as they see that I am also a positive impact here and deserve a spot in life's game. So thank you again for seeing that and saying it, bc it really is important to me.

So are you telling me that part of my treatment will include telling people (other than my husband) what I am dealing with? I can't tackle this in my own head? I realize my own head is sick, but it seems like I could get away without doing it.

That terrrifies me. I don't want people to know this. The rest of my life would be people second guessing me and treating me like a child bc they think I have mental illness and need people to help me. That's not what I want at all. I NEED people to believe in me and to let me be independent bc that is SO important to me. I want to live and learn for myself instead of always doing something just bc that's how someone else did it.

This is starting to scare me. I know me. I know myself. And I don't know if there is a force in the world strong enough to get me to tell this to certain people in my life. I guess there are a very few that I trust enough, but there are definately some that i would NEVER tell. The rest of my life would be absolute hell and madness if I did...

shakin' in my boots,
Doc