Thanks everyone! As bad as it sounds I’m just trying to cope at this point and trying to fight the incredible urge to SI. I know work will get better, but I’m sure it will get worse before it gets better. I just don’t understand why I get so upset out of nowhere. I have a lot going for me and I should realize that and I see it, but I can’t get it through my head.

Hope-full thank you for everything you said. I can totally relate to all of it. I use “I’m fine” constantly and I can usually hide my emotions. My T knows this about me so whenever I say “I’m fine” or “whatever” she doesn’t let it slide. She pushes me to tell her whats going on and half the time I’m not even sure. That’s the most frustrating part! Most of the time idk why I’m upset. With the friend thing, my T told me to try and set some boundaries with her, but she hasn’t talked to me long enough for me to do that and now I don’t think she is talking to me at all and idk why. I honestly think that is most of the reason I’m so upset outta nowhere. I guess I need time to heal, but right now it doesn’t feel like it will get better. I’m still trying to hang in there and see what happens. I just feel like I’m going thru life as a zombie right now.