Rio,
I am getting a better picture of what this older man may mean to you in your mind. And yet, your very confused too. He loves his wife and doesn't plan on leaving her, you say he tells you his wife is encouraging him to have sex with others outside the marriage. Honestly?, it really sounds more and more like all you really are is just a female to relieve his sexual urges, not much more. Yeah, maybe he loves having sex with you, loves the fact that he can have a wife and a girlfriend, but in all honesty?, he is getting all of what HE wants.

Think of this, in eight years he will be 50, and you will still be just 26, still pretty young but, more of your own person. I can tell you, that at 26, you will grow tired of a man his age. What your really feeling is that he is appreciating you, something your parents didn't do for you, but that is a false appreciation Rio, he is the one being selfish. And look at your mother, your father left her, how is her life, did she have an education, a way to fulfill her life, doesn't sound like it, do you want to be like her? You could do better.

You say that you feel empty and alone on your own, but that is typical of your age.
If you went to College, completed your education, even met boys within your age range that were also walking a path to gain independance, you will meet others on a much different level. At 18, are you even planning on educating yourself? Finding something you love to learn, do for a life other than being someone's girl on the side?
If you make it a point to educate yourself, find a direction, at 26, believe me, a 50 year old man will bore you. Your basing your feelings of lonliness when you havent even truely ventured into investing in yourself, finding out what you can do, learn, be.
Your placing a love interest, romance, basically just sex really, way ahead of what you should be doing, loving yourself, taking pride in yourself, pride in slowly making your way in life as an independant person, who will have resources of her own. A young woman who has attained an education, something she has that is her own equity, will not have to stay under the foot of any man. Instead, it will be your choice, knowing that if you change your mind, or the man changes his mind, you will have something of your own, a personal equity in YOU that can be used for yourself. This is what the next few years should be about for you, not just some sex toy for an older man, that will just get older. That path your on, is a dead end path and it doesn't have to be that way.

You need to think about making healthier priorities.

Open Eyes