Not like anxiety-afraid - I am confident in my adrenaline surges at the right times. More like afraid that when I will be telling those wonderful things about my skills they will see that I post questions on forums about how to get up and face the day in the morning, that I have a bunch of meds in a cabinet at home and cannot function without them, that I have had a massive suicide attempt from a manic place, and if things do not work out with jobs (I have doubts I will be able to perform even if I get a job), I am considering filing for SSD. It's like I have a double life and they will see through. Or, that they will not see through but I will feel like a fake.

I do not think it is psychotic - I do realize they cannot read my thoughts - but I still believe they will somehow see through - my gaze and body language will be giveaways, whatever.

I have a very narrow set of skills and this is one of the few matching jobs, a rare opportunity, so I have to be serious about preparation. These thoughts derail me. I am afraid that by feeling like a fake I will have a facial expression that they will be able to read. Oh, and I took a long medical leave after the suicide attempt and it is not on my resume - I will speak of my experience as if it were continuous. But what else should I do?

I guess I need plain old support plus suggestions on how to change my thinking so that I would come across as authentic.

Lastly, I remember those findings that attractive people get hired more, in both genders, and I was attractive 40-50 lbs ago. Not inspiring, either.