I think about how not getting up will lead to my not going to work or being late and how tiring that would be dealing with my boss and how I might lose my job, stress out my partner, become unable to pay my rent, I barely am able to feed myself, then I'd find myself on the street without a comfortable alone space to come back to and then I'd have to kill myself because I have no options that kind of motivational thinking usually does it. If only...