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Originally Posted by missmorganxo
I hope nobody finds this super disturbing but I have really bad stomach pain on top of Bipolar with pyschotic features, OCD and PTSD.
I just started lithium, 900 mg a day. That's all I'm on, was just recently diagnosed not too long ago with the bipolar. I've been seeing things/hearing voices for most of my life, so I don't know what's going on.
I used to cut myself, but I have these awful thoughts while my stomach really hurts that I want to get a knife and just, cut my stomach open and see what's causing it. I don't want to kill myself so I wouldn't do it, but it keeps crossing my mind.
Is that like, a schizophrenic type of thought? Is that normal with bipolar? I know that's not right, and it worries me that I think like that. n___n
I was told I could possibly have early schizophrenia. So idk.
My grandma and aunt have it, and my aunt almost ripped skin off her body because she felt like she was "dirty." It just sounds like what it is to me.
what's wrong with me? that's disgusting 
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Differentiating between bipolar, schizoaffective and schizophrenia can take time because there is a lot of overlap between the diagnoses, and the way our symptoms present over time changes. A snapshot of what a psychiatrist sees in one session in their office is seldom enough to be sure of what is really going on. Your experiences are quite common in all 3 of the above disorders, but the hallucinations don't fit with bipoar II.
Wanting to rip your guts out because of pain and distress is something I am very familiar with. Self destructive thoughts flashing through your mind can be exhausting and difficult to live with. These are things that I have found go hand in hand with psychotic episodes. Sometimes antipsychotics help relieve the distress and make the thoughts less intrusive, and sometimes they don't.
But these thoughts and feelings can also be part of other "disorders" such as major depression and borderline personality disorder. I can't speak for those situations.
Getting a good psychiatrist you can trust to treat you with dignity seems to be the most important next step. It won't be a short term relationship from what you describe.